My Lazy Girl

  He parked his car outside my favorite bakery and ordered me to stay inside the car until he returned. He locked the car and kept an eye on me from a distance while he ordered the food. He allowed me to cry my heart out in his arms. My sobbing intensified as he hugged me tightly and massaged my back. He waited patiently for me to take my time and relax. My heart felt lighter. My nose turned scarlet red, kajal smudged from the corners of my eyes, and lipstick stained my palm when I wiped it away. He looked at me and laughed. "You look like a Joker!". I punched him in the chest, and then hugged him back. He held me with the same warmth. I felt safe and unreal around him. He made me felt like a youngster who had conquered her fear of the unknown. He was broad, strong and muscular. I was little and petite. I gazed at him again, as he put my hair behind my ears, set it with his hands, and wiped the tears from my face. Are you okay now? ( he asked) I nodded in response. ...

  The thoughts and glimpses of the past and the pain which I had suffered long ago were dancing again in front of me. I wanted to get over it once and for all. “Hi.” The message popped up on the projector as I was giving the client a demo. Soon after, another message appeared: "How are you doing these days, miss?” Excuse me, I muttered as I hurried to log out the social media app on my laptop, which had remained open from the action I took last night. Those messages invited a playful smile on everyone’s face. Ignoring the embarrassment, I quickly finished rest of the presentation and raced my steps out of the room. “So how are you doing these days, miss? Let's have dinner tonight,” whispered a high-pitched, thin, playful tone behind my back. It was Genny. I turned back and smacked her shoulder with my laptop. “Shut up, its nothing like that!” I replied as I defended my privacy from being invaded. Genny has moved to New York for many different reasons. She wanted some change in...

  We were never taught the meaning of SPACE in our lives, we were never taught we would ever need some.                                      I really love the word SPACE. It's fascinating; while we were growing up, we were told many times by our teachers to give right amount of space between the letters while writing. Right amount of Space is important to make your writing look nice, and readable. That’s what kids are being told when they are learning to write, right?  As we climbed the ladders from kindergartens to primary, we were introduced to huge digital boxes which we used to call desktop computers. There we got to know the longest key on the keyboard is the Space bar/ Space key which we need to press each time whenever we used to write something in a word file. I always used to wonder, why did they make the space bar so long? What might be the significance behind it? It could ...

  We all have our days. Some are hard to live, difficult to gulp, and dense enough to choke our souls to a limit that compels us to shout, WHY? I lived an entire week like this that ripped me apart into intangible pieces that were hard to stitch.  11:00 pm and I finally left my office, booked a cab, and waited for the driver to come. Devastated by the number of rejections and workload on my table, I decided to call it a day. November never felt so cold to me. I put my phone on silent mode and kept it safely in my leather handbag as I sat in the car.  I asked the cab driver to shut the music that was playing in the background. The noise was much louder at the back of my head. I always cherished if I had a snooze button in my life, something I wish to endure. Will I be able to make it? Will I be able to come up with a sensible draft? Thoughts like these crossed my mind. I opened the windowpane, placed my chin on the edge, and inclined towards the door of the car. The road w...

    I was living my life in a decently boring way until this conference came to me. I thought of it as one of my normal official activity of which I was going to be a part of. People were invited for this conference from all over India. The conference was scheduled for 7 days in Bangalore, and I was directed to fly 2 days prior to the start of this conference.   I took out my suite case, packed my formal suit, 2 pair of pajamas, a party dress (in case I need),  zipped my toiletries in a pouch; charged my laptop and arranged it in a separate hand bag, rechecked my boarding pass along with the id proofs, and left for the airport (after informing my family).   My flight was delaye d by 2 hours. To pass the time, I grabbed a costa coffee, placed my phone on the nearest charging point and checked for the recent messages. There weren’t many of them, except for the ones from my mother and from my two best friends- inquiring about my latest activity on the air...

Let’s be Humans first and Engineers later. Let’s Fix our Hearts first and Machines later. Let’s Value the People first and Our Egos later. Let’s Create Love first and Softwares later. Lets Earn some Respect first and Money later. Let’s Cuddle First and Fight later.   Let’s be Friends First and Make our Forever later. Let’s Learn to Hold first and Let Go later. Boy oh boy, let’s learn to live first and create the memories later. Let’s Make the Base first and Building later. Let’s Extend support first and Pretend later. Let’s be Humans first and Engineers later.   Let’s value the Person first and Time later. Let’s Gaze the Stars first and Screens later. Let’s enjoy the Darkness first and Daylight later. Let’s hold the Hands first and Grudges later. Let’s Resolve the Fight First and Blame each other later. Let’s become Kids first and get Mature later. Let’s eat the Cake first and Hit the Gym later. Let’s learn the Human values first and C...

   While Ravin was trying to make the most of the time by doing the majority of the talks, I was busy doodling something on the tissue paper and roaming in my own world with Derik. Coffee reminds me of him. It’s been five days and nothing literally happened. Derik showed no hints at all. But I was sure he would have stalked my entire account at least once. My recent activities, recent pins, the major how about of my movements from one place to another. A social media app has a lot to offer, I realized that lately. A complete human could be transformed into another in the span of two years, and then this was about me. This was about us. I waited patiently like a hunter who waits for his bait to get trapped. But wait, I didn’t set the trap, it was he, who initiated. I was trying to adjust in New York already but now I was getting trapped in those days again. I felt his presence around me again. I got my constant checking of phone syndrome back with that one request. Thanks to ...

It was a new follow request on my social media from a stranger. I opened the app with a dull face and what I then encounter took me out of my feet. It was Derik. It was his request to follow me on some social media app. He still had the same profile picture which I once approved.  It’s been two years today when I last spoke to Derik. Life in New York has been hard but I guess that’s what I wanted somewhere. I decided to shift to New York from Australia. Maybe I was running from things but confessing them was even harder so I chose to run till I find a permanent closure for myself. I deleted everything from my cell phone which belonged to him. His photographs, his number, his mails. It felt like a decade passed by. I wasn’t aware about his existence but I knew he was still breathing in some corner of the earth. I could feel that every day, though my everyday was an effort to move on but in that effort some part of me used to stay behind and think about him....

Applause the Pause before its over!! We have been constantly cribbing upon how desperately we need   a break from our 9 to 5 monotonous schedule. We spend our lifetime working as Tech maniacs, working towards a drift without pondering upon the realization that why are we even doing this? Our Instagram stories and posts are the evidence that we struggle to show our existence in the world. We want fancy vacations,million followers on our accounts, a 6 digit salary, high class friends and summon our day captioning " Trying this Greek Yogurt as probiotics!" When I can gaurantee, not even half of your friend list would know the difference between a curd and a yogurt! Fancy. Isn't it? (And I am also sure that majority of you will google the difference between them after reading this blog of mine.   You can always thank me later silly!) I literally want you to come, sit by my side and think! Think about the answers of the question which I am about to shoot on...

You will get your light that will eventually make you shine and those little pieces of your soul will come back . Since childhood I was a huge fan of love stories. I used to read romantic novels. I used to believe in magic. I used to watch movies where you can sniff love all around or at least they used to end with a happy note. But then who knew my love story would be as ridiculous as it could be. Well, I know. You need not to make me believe that. Shutup Alan. (Chuckles) I used to believe that I was the Gardner of love. I used to soil it wherever I thought it could grew. But the winds have been so harsh upon me that they always rooted my plants off. Sometimes I wonder how can people be so blessed with love? Like it’s good they are but how? And why always I have to fall for the wrong one? I mean people see each other, get to know each other and they are happily ever after. As simple as breathing. As if you step into a huge store of clothes and at the very first at...

You there, right? Hello?? Clara??  What’s going on in your head Derik? Nothing. He responded in a expressionless voice. You okay? Yeah. Pretty much. Are you sure? Yeah Clara, please don’t poke me with your questions. I said I am fine!! ( silence) (heavy gasps) Why you talking like that to me? How can you be so rude? If you don’t wanna talk, hang up!! Fine, I am sorry!! I just, I am not so fine Clara. I mean I am fine but there’s one part of mine which is not okay. I know, tell me, what’s bothering you. Breath first. I am listening, tell me! I am missing you Clara. I am missing you here!! I am thousand miles apart and it feels cold. I am questioning my existence. Is this really what I truly starved for? And if it is so, it’s accomplishment gives me no pleasure and happiness. I am not feeling contented. I don’t know where I wanna go, what I wanna do next. I am not able to find the word “Settlement” in my dictionary. All I am having are the bla...

Our eyes understand each other better when our words fail. We can always find a new road even when we are lost on some highway. But for that, you should be ready to drive! What do you think we will do once we are old? I asked him out of no where. We are already old Clara, said he in a voice that has already lost its spark. Oh come on oldy, I don’t know about you but I am surely young. He giggled on my stupid response and said, yeah madam why not. What? I mean life is fun but don’t people get bored of sex after a certain point of time? What?? He gave me a disgusting yet surprised look as i completed the sentence. Are you lost or what? Wait, come here, let me smell you! He sniffed my collar to check any evidence of alcohol in me. You smell okay but the perfume is really good. I giggled and blushed in my own space. Shut up man, just stop it. People are noticing us. (we both passed fishy smiles to each other) Okay, see there. Do you see those group of ladies si...

Life is never sorted. Neither it will be ever. Issues are and will always be there.  I can totally feel your nerves when someone mentions something of this sort. Homo sapiens are tend to waste half of their lives in thinking about future because somewhere they are already fucked up with some bitter experiences. Let me make it more simple for you. Let’s talk logic! Suppose you have a strand of thread in your hand. Variety of people would carry different notions which would be based on their past experience, their skill set and their thought process of course. Person A : He could simply take up the strand and think, how can this limited amount of thread can solve my purpose. Just let it be. I at least need to have the entire bunch to put it to some use. More and more and more I required. Person B : Now this person could hold the thread and think, 15 days back I got a cut on my finger when I was playing with it. That cut aches till now. I should better leave it as I ...

I looked at him with all the love in my eyes and said, “Nothing! I don’t want anything.” The weather was exactly how I wanted it to be. Night was about to knock the door of the evening. I looked at him; he was busy over a phone call with his manager about some deliveries. I shifted my gaze towards the sky. I peeped out through the window and looked at the dark clouds and to the highway which was ahead us. I knew this moment will never return again. I knew we could never be the same again, and he would never be so- mine again. That moment I had everything I could pray for. A supportive family at my back, non judgmental school friends, the weather and Him. He hit his elbow against mine to check if I was getting bore by his work calls but I was doing fine with my thoughts. I smiled back in response and he winked. Unaware of the thoughts in my head, I was somewhere relieved that he wasn’t aware of the streets I was roaming in. To me, he was my entire world. For him...